so I got a new job at sephora and im trying to research some high end skincare “glamglow is a popular prestige brand” i think to myself “i should become more familiar with their line” i look it up and this. this stares back at me. sonic the fucking hedgehog. nothing makes sense right now. im having an episode. sonic what are you doing on a $70 dollar prestige firming and lifting mask i need a play by play of what led to this marketing decision i need a video of the copyright permission conference i need context i need answers i need
Not 70$. Sixty-Nine, specifically. Not 69.99$, not 68.99$, 69$.
(the Ram - 21 March 19 April)
* Outgoing.
* Lovable.
* Spontaneous.
* Not one to mess with.
* Funny.
* EXCELLENT kisser.
* EXTREMELY adorable.
* Loves relationships.
* Addictive.
* Loud.
16 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
2. TAURUS - The Tramp
(the Bull - 20 April 20 May)
* Aggressive.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Likes to give a good fight for what they want.
* Extremely outgoing.
* Loves to help people in times of need.
* GOOD kisser.
* GOOD personality.
* Stubborn but a caring person.
* One of a kind.
* Not one to mess with.
* Usually are the most attractive people.
15 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
3. GEMINI - Irresistible
(the Twins - 21 May 21 June)
* Nice.
* Love is one of a kind.
* Great listener.
* Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out.
* Trustworthy.
* Always happy.
* Loud.
* Talkative.
* Not one to mess with.
* Freak.
* Outgoing.
* VERY Forgiving.
* Loves to make friends.
* Has a beautiful smile.
* Generous.
* Strong.
* The Irresistible one.
9 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
4. CANCER - The Cutie
(the Crab - 22 June 22 July)
* Most AMAZING kisser..Very high appeal.
* Love is one of a kind.
* Very romantic.
* Most caring person you will ever meet!
* Very creative.
* Extremely random and proud of it.
* Freak.
* Spontaneous.
* Great at telling stories.
* Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it.
* Someone you should hold on to.
12 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
5. LEO - The Lion
(the Lion - 23 July - 22 August)
* Great talker.
* Attractive and passionate.
* Laid back.
* Knows how to have fun.
* Is really good at almost anything.
* GREAT kisser.
* Unpredictable.
* Outgoing.
* Down to earth.
* Addictive.
* Attractive.
* Loud.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Talkative.
* Not one to mess with.
* Freak.
* Rare to find.
* Good when found.
7 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
6. VIRGO - The One that Waits
(the Virgin - 23 August 22 September)
* Dominant in relationships.
* Someone loves them right now.
* Always wants the last word.
* Caring.
* Smart.
* Loud.
* Loyal.
* Easy to talk to.
* Everything you ever wanted.
* Easy to please.
* The one and only.
7 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
7. LIBRA - The AWESOME One
(the Balance - 23 September 23 October)
* Nice to everyone they meet.
* Their Love is one of a kind.
* Independent, yet likes company
* Great kisser.
* Always smiling, loves to laugh.
* Silly, fun and sweet.
* Have own unique sex appeal.
* Most caring person you will ever meet!
* However not the kind of person you want to mess with…you might end up crying.
9 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
8. SCORPIO - The Addict
(the Scorpion - 24 October 21 November)
* EXTREMELY adorable.
*Good Lover
* Intelligent.
* Loves to joke.
* Very good sense of humor.
* Energetic.
* GOOD kisser.
* Always get what they want.
* Attractive.
* Easy going.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Talkative.
* Romantic.
* Caring.
4 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
9. SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
(the Archer - 22 November 21 December)
* Spontaneous.
* High appeal.
* Rare to find.
* Great when found.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* So much love to give.
* Not one to mess with.
* Very attractive.
* Very romantic.
* Nice to everyone they meet.
* Their Love is one of a kind.
* Silly, fun and sweet.
* Have their own unique appeal.
* Most caring person you will ever meet!
* Not the kind of person you wanna fuck with because you might end up crying.
4 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
10. CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
(the Goat - 22 December 19 January)
* Love to bust.
* Nice.
* Sassy.
* Intelligent.
* Sexy.
* Irresistible.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Great talker.
* Always gets what he or she wants.
* Cool.
* Loves to own Gemini’s in sports.
* Extremely fun.
* Loves to joke.
* Smart.
24 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
11. AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water
(the Water Bearer - 20 January 18 February)
* Trustworthy.
* Attractive.
* GREAT kisser.
* One of a kind.
* Loves being in long-term relationships.
* Extremely energetic.
* Unpredictable.
* Will exceed your expectations.
* Not a Fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it.
2 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
12. PISCES - The Partner for Life
(the Fishes - 19 February 20 March)
* Caring and kind.
* Smart.
* Center of attention.
* High appeal.
* Has the last word.
* Good to find, hard to keep.
* Fun to be around.
* Extremely weird but in a good way.
* Good Sense of Humor!!!
* Thoughtful.
* Always gets what he or she wants.
* Loves to joke.
* Very popular.
* Silly, fun and sweet.
* Loves being in long relationships.
2 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
Y’know I reblogged this a bit ago and was saved from financial probation and getting kicked out of school because of it, just mere months from graduation. Got a call from the financial aid advisor telling me that they made a mistake with filing my account (or some other sort of clerical error) and said that, basically, they owe me money. Welp.
Last time I reblogged the money cat, I won two $100 gift cards at work.
I mean, it’s not like I have anything to lose by reblogging it.
Your super power is that you are average, at everything you do.
no, no- imagine how amazing this would be! you’re average- but the key here is at EVERYTHING you try and do
try and get the cure to cancer? well, aint a fingers snap and done cure but its a cure. doctors worldwide are astounded
try and learn how to communicate with an alien race? well, youre not fluent but its passing and humanity hasnt even invented deep space flight- you just managed to get their signal and have a chat
want to fly? well- youre a bit wobbly but goddamn its working
being average at everything is amazing bc if we assume anything you try works then eveything is at least working a bit
Jack of all trades, master of none, better than a master of one
I’ve seen a lot of people say that an anti-joke is simply a joke without a punchline, and I’m tired of it. No you little shits, that’s called a question. Anti-jokes are more nuanced and clever, you can’t just not make a joke and call it an anti-joke, because an anti-joke is still a form of joke.
Let’s explore the depths of the anti-joke with an example joke that has both a joke answer and an anti-joke answer.
“What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?”
To begin with, humor is based on a subversion of expectation. A joke expects that we go in with an ordinary mindset. What’s worse than a worm in your apple? Well, many things. There is literally an endless amount of things worse than finding a worm in your apple. But then we get the punchline. “What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.” It directly references the worm from earlier in an unexpected way, deriving humor. That’s how a joke works.
An anti-joke expects that we go in with a joking mindset. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well obviously, the answer must be a reference to the worm, or maybe the apple. Perhaps something related to a doctor, because “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Or maybe something related to the Garden of Eden, because many Renaissance paintings famously depict the Fruit of Forbidden Knowledge as an apple. Of course, because we’re making anti-joke we won’t be following the traditional ruling structure of a joke. We want an unexpected separation of the question from it’s answer, a dichotomy where the extremity of our answer vastly dwarfs the mundane nature of the worm in the apple. So…. “What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Genocide.”
Of course, the dichotomy of extremity vs mundanity isn’t a good match for every anti-joke. “Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.” That’s a perfectly serviceable anti-joke because it still works on the idea that humor is a subversion of expectation. It works because it had hundreds of predecessors that already built on the “Two men walk into a bar” structure, leading us to expect that the bar in question is of the variety that serves alcohol and then subverting the expectation with a homophone, a metal bar at head height.
The point is that an anti-joke is still a joke. It still works on the basic structure of a joke, and the humor is still derived from a subversion in our expectations. The difference is in which expectation we’re subverting.
Sometimes it is your fault.. Sometimes you don’t listen well enough, you’re selfish, you’re rude and you aren’t always right. Sometimes you fucked it up and tbh that’s okay. It happens, learn from it, apologize and keep it moving. Just because you fucked up doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Don’t dwell on it
